David

As a child in catholic school, I was taught that if you mess up badly, then you go to hell. The church says if we go to confession, confess our sins, are sorry, and the priest absolves us, then we won't go to hell. But, if you mess up badly, and die before you go to confession, then you go to hell. Is this true? or is this control? and perhaps arrogance (speaking for God)?

There's not much hope in believing that if you mess up badly, then you go to hell. There is hope in believing that it's all about how much we love God that determines whether or not we go to hell.

Look at King David. He messed up royally (excuse the pun). 2 Samuel, chapter 11 

The bible tells us that David loved God and that God loves David. 10 Reasons David is Called “A Man After God’s Own Heart” - Ron Edmondson

David messed up badly; but, he loved God greatly. God loved David in return; He promised to send a Savior from David's descendants.

We all mess up badly. There's hope in believing that if we love God greatly, then all is not lost.

File:King David dancing.JPG - Wikimedia Commons

2 Samuel 6: 14-23